How Minimalism Has Improved My Life as a Mom

I want to just start by saying I am not trying to be "a minimalist." I don't want the pressure of trying to be something, I just want to implement the strategies and values of minimalism in the parts of my life where it benefits me to implement them.

I used to struggle with depression and bad anxiety. It had always been my dream to be a wife and a mom, but with how debilitating my depression was at times, I had a hard time even finding the motivation to do something as seemingly insignificant as cleaning my room. I had this deep fear that I would never be "competent" enough to get married or have a family, and that made me deeply sad.

I'm so grateful to God for taking the depression away from me, but I have to admit the fear of getting overwhelmed and having it come back is always in my subconscious. I'm married now and have a little girl and it is all literally a dream come true, even with the hard days!

It might sound dramatic, but I can honestly say that learning about minimalism and having a lot less stuff in my home has helped so much in making motherhood and homekeeping manageable and enjoyable. It's helped my journey (my vocation) not be near as overwhelming and difficult for me as I was so scared it would be.

Having less stuff has led to less time spent cleaning and organizing, less money spent on "stuff," less stress and overwhelm because life is just more simplified.

Here is a bit about how it has impacted my life and my motherhood journey.

I don't have any high goals of only owning X amount of items or anything like that. My house looks like a normal house and it's definitely not this pristine empty place - no way, having a cosy and homey house is important to me.

I've just become really interested in learning about minimalism, and in doing so have really changed my perspective on "stuff" and have made some changes in my life that have actually made a really big difference in my overall levels of joy and peace. I feel significantly less overwhelmed and stressed, and enjoy being in my house a lot more.

I think the word minimalism can come with a lot of various connotations. Maybe white walls and succulents, or some radical person who deprives themselves, or a couple living in a tiny house. Maybe it brings to mind someone who has freed themselves of all their stuff, debt, and clutter so that they can travel the world and live out of their backpack (after being a wife and mom, this would probably be my second choice for my dream life). For me, the word minimalism held no connotation when I first came across it. It's definitely become a more popular concept lately since the documentary on Netflix and now Marie Kondo's tidying series (she doesn't necessarily call it minimalism but when I say minimalism I just mean decluttering in general!).

The first time I heard about minimalism was when I came across a blog post written by a gal I find very inspiring, Allie Casazza. It was called How Getting Rid of 'Stuff' Saved My Motherhood (such a good read!). I wasn't struggling with motherhood (I found the first few weeks really hard, but things went uphill from there!), but have struggled with feeling overwhelmed by cleaning and to-do lists my entire life.

It felt like I had finally found something to help me with this struggle I had always had, and it sounded like the perfect solution for the fear I've always had of getting overwhelmed.

It seems so obvious but had honestly never occurred to me - if I had less stuff, I would have less stuff to clean and maintain. If I had less to clean and less on my to-do list, I would feel less overwhelmed. As I read more and more of Allie Cassazza's blog, I became more and more intrigued and saw how this could really be a positive change I could make in my life.

On top of this, we had recently moved, and twice now have had to take everything we own out of every nook and cranny in our house (to prepare for a pest control company), then put it all back, because we had a pest problem in the townhouse we live in. Luckily that's taken care of now! Those ordeals really made me aware of how much stuff we owned, and I felt like the amount of it was weighing me down. Specifically because of all the work that had to go into packing and unpacking during the move, as well as preparing for the pest control company, but also just in general. I felt like all this 'stuff' was a weight on me. It was all taking more than it gave, in time spent cleaning and maintaining it, organizing it, packing it, and moving it in and out of cupboards and closets. It was a perfectly normal amount of stuff to have, but to me, it just felt like too much.

One last reason I am drawn to the idea of clearing away some of the excess in my life is memories of the way if felt to be free from all that stuff while I was travelling. I was actually looking back on some old blog posts I wrote while I was on my trip to Peru, and saw this:

Something I often wonder about is whether they are happier, or we are happier. Them with their simple life and not quite enough, us with our rushed and complicated lives and so much excess. I don't know. Of course there is stress and hardship that comes from being poor that I can't understand. However, there is something so magical about all these families living here in such a simple way - the only thing they've ever known. It seems happy in a genuine way. It's definitely worth some thought, and I have many bus rides to think about these things on.

I remember when I came back from Colombia, I so badly didn't want to start my smartphone plan up again! I loved the freedom of not being tied to a phone constantly, of not having it always calling to me with its constant notifications and the effortless stimulation of scrolling through Instagram - and the freedom of not being tempted to waste so much time on it (I am someone who spends a lot of time on my phone). I loved that nobody expected me to text back instantly, or always be available to answer a phone call (an expectation I'm guilty of putting on everyone else as well, it's just what society expects of us).

I felt so free with just a backpack worth of stuff. When I was living in the volunteer house in Peru, I just had my bed and my little bookshelf and a few clothes that I wore over and over again, and I really loved that. Of course, it couldn't be the same here (and I wouldn't want it to, I have a baby now!), but I knew that if I could even simplify my life just a bit, there would be a lot of reward in that.

I'm not going to "be" a minimalist, but I find people talking about minimalism very inspiring and the blogs and podcasts on minimalism give me so many great ideas for simplifying my life.

What is minimalism?

I guess I should explain what, exactly, minimalism is.

Minimalism is the intentional removal of excess, in order to make room for what is most important. 

This could apply to the clutter in your house, the things on your schedule or on your to-do list, the people you spend your time with, or really, anything.

It's being more mindful about what's important, right, good, useful, and needed. When you get the other stuff out of the way, you have more time and energy for what you truly value.

Some of the changes I've made

Room by room, I've gone through everything in my house and have tried to only keep things that I either love or need(I didn't touch my husband's stuff, of course, but the rest!).

I was shocked how much I ended up donating, and I honestly don't miss any of it. Garbage bags and garbage bags full! My house doesn't feel empty now by any means and to an onlooker it probably doesn't look too different, but I can definitely tell how much less there is.

I think what has really changed by learning about the idea of minimalism is my outlook. Before, I thought more was always better. The more things I had in my home, the more likely I would have what I needed if a random situation popped up. I thought I should keep everything, "just in case." The more useful gadgets I took advantage of, the easier my life would be.

I didn't see the correlation between more stuff and more cleaning. More stuff and more spending. More stuff and more overwhelm. I didn't see that the clutter around me was affecting me. Although I did see how much mess affected me, I didn't make the connection that if I had less, the house wouldn't get as messy.

I think that now I see that if I remove the things I don't need or want, there is so much more time and space for what actually matters to me.

Here are a few specific things I've done to have less:

1. Got rid of half my clothes.

I didn't get rid of half my clothes because I wanted to reach a specific number of clothes, but because I actually did not like (or really wear) half my clothes.

I realized that having too many choices can be overwhelming (especially if you don't like half the options!), and choosing what you wear is something you do every day so I simplifying the decision-making process actually made a difference. Since I only kept clothes that I really like and that flatter and fit me well, I like all my options. I like how I now start the day with a more simple and easy decision!

2. Threw out a drawer full of makeup that I'd had since High School (gross I know).

3. Went through my treasure chest and just kept the most special sentimental items, not every piece of paper I ever wrote a word on. 

I'm sentimental now but was extremely sentimental as a kid, so I kept everything. I realized that when there are a whole bunch of sentimental items all piled up, I don't ever take the time to even look through them because it's just overwhelming.

By just keeping the most special things, I'm much more likely to look through them or even find ways to use or display them.

For the things that I did get rid of (and even some things I kept), I took pictures and put the pictures on google drive, so if I ever did want to look back on those things I still could. I also organized the papers I did keep into a binder with clear sheet protectors so that they're easy to find and look through if I'm ever feeling nostalgic.

Examples of photos to remember some of my sentimental items:

4. I also just go through my days noticing all my stuff and asking myself if I actually need or like the items I'm looking at each day.

I did do a big purge of all the main rooms in my house and that was great to get me started, but I also just gave unneeded things away slowly as I noticed them.

Oh, as a little side note, I never touch Matt's stuff unless I ask him because obviously, that would be rude. I just focus on the things that are mine and Rose's (she's too little to decide for herself yet!) and leave his stuff to him.

5. I work on simplify other areas of life, such as my to-do lists and schedule. 

My to-do lists were full of things I've fabricated and told myself are so urgent but really aren't, and it's so freeing to prioritize and keep those lists (whether mental or on paper) to a minimum. It's also so freeing to only have things in my schedule that align with the life I want for me and for our family.

How has learning about minimalism has improved my life?

All this decluttering and simplifying has definitely affected my day-to-day life for the better. It's taken a lot of overwhelm and anxiety out of my life.

I feel so much more peaceful and joyful in my home, and so much less overwhelmed by it.

I feel happier in my house because I don't feel overwhelmed by the million things I should be cleaning. I feel like I have more time for what's important to me.

Thinking about how much simplifying things has affected me, I'm surprised given that I don't think I have made any radical changes.

I mean, yes, I have a much easier decision of deciding what to wear in the morning because I don't have to sift through a bunch of shirts I don't like.

I have less to clean up because I got rid of a lot.

I stare at less clutter because of what I've given away and gotten rid of.

I feel much more peaceful in my home because I know that it is not stuffed full of "things," and that gives me a sense of lightness and freedom.

I have lightened up on my expectations in regards to my productivity, so that has taken away some stress.

I know that if I get to a place where I feel very overwhelmed about keeping my house clean and organized again, I now know a solution - getting rid of stuff. 

Each one of these things is fairly small but together have surprisingly made a big difference.

If you're interested in reading about minimalism and simplifying, here are some blog posts that I enjoyed reading! I found these to be very inspiring and encouraging reads :)

7 Reasons Moms Need Minimalism - Motherly

The 10 Steps I Took to De-Clutter My Entire House - Allie Casazza

Curate Your Life, and the Rest Will Follow - Afford Anything

The 10 Most Important Things to Simplify in Your Life - Becoming Minimalist

Another cool site is No Sidebar, it's full of inspiration of simplifying your stuff and your life.